Denmark. Newport. Denmark. Newport.
They say that home is where the heart is. What they don't say is that your heart can be split into so many pieces that it hurts to think about home. Wherever that home may be.
It's been nearly a year since I've been back 'home' here in Newport. It's been nearly a year since I left my 'home' in Denmark. It's been nearly a year. That's so crazy for me to think about. It's been THAT long already??? Sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday that I came back. Sometimes it feels like it was all just a dream. In those moments, I pray that my travels really happened. I pray that it all wasn't a dream. Then it all comes flooding back.
Some mornings I wake up and am fine. I can look back on my time spent abroad with very fond memories. Other mornings...well, those mornings are different. On those mornings, I wake up sick. I wake up so homesick that I don't know what to do with myself. I remember my friends. I remember my families. I remember my freedom. I remember it all. The homesickness can be so overwhelming.
They don't tell you that when you come home. They don't tell you that any recollection of your time spent abroad will drum up those feelings. They don't tell you that no one will possibly ever understand why you have that stupid grin on your face when remembering something your host mom said or did for you. They don't tell you how much you will miss all of your friends that you made and how it's almost impossible to coordinate schedules so you can visit each other. They don't tell you that the homesickness never ends.
It's almost a year later, and I still get consumed with homesickness. I miss Denmark so much sometimes that it hurts. I get scared to look at any pictures or read any diaries, lest I remember. But I can't stand to look away from any of them, lest I forget.
I miss it. I miss my friends. I miss my families. I miss the country. I miss everything about my time abroad.
I want to quote a very wise man, "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." I try to live every day of my life that way. This is my drive. Everything I learned and experienced, though it brings me sadness to remember and miss, I would never change. It's brought me to so many new places in my life. And Denmark will forever be my home. It will forever be my home because it will always have a piece of my heart.
And after all, home is where the heart is, right?
In a way, I felt a lot like that after coming home from my Honduras trip. On a much smaller scale of course, since it was only two weeks, but I kind of get what you mean. All my new friends that I lived with like family and did everything with for two weeks live thousands of miles away. And I miss Honduras so much too, and can't wait to go back again someday. Even though I don't really know what you're going through, I can almost imagine it. Love you, and I'll be praying for you.
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